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Seen: 2004.07.15 ¶ Reviewed: 2004.07.17
OK, why is everybody saying this is better than the first one?
At the Paramount. I didn’t expect a problem. I requested a reflector and headset from the tall, dashing, very-well-dressed manager. Curiously, I had been there to see an unMoPixed movie ten days before and had asked this manager what the procedure was. His reply? Manager looks at ID, jots down in book, gives back ID.
I asked the playa what the procedure was today. He said I was to sign myself in. I mentioned why that was a bad idea. He said “No problem” and handed me a slip of paper and a pen. Then, finally, the manager came back with a reflector (scratched to shit, so I immediately rejected it) and explained that the playa had been away for three weeks and didn’t know the new system. He looked at my Big Card (no arguments about it) and jotted me down in the binder.
“Thanks,” I said as I was leaving. “And great suit.” He thought I was being facetious. I wasn’t! Pinstriped shirt with narrow collar and luscious cream summer-weight wool suits are hard to find in this town. Straight guys with taste. Rare jewels, really.
I get in and the movie has actually started. The ideal row is really quite full, but two people are in the row behind that in my seat. I simply ask them to move, and, after conferring, they do. A baldy in the row below keeps staring at me. “Relax. It’s been handled,” I tell him.
I’m too goddamned close to the display! It is impossible to fit all the characters (a mere 32 of them wide) in the plexiglas panel.
(Klaxon blaring): It’s not capitalized. Mixing up K and k is a journeyman error. (They’re actually difficult-to-render letters.) Curiously, I had just seen a similar caption on a WGBH-captioned TV show the week before, where they got it right.
With great power, comes great responsibility: No comma.
A Chinese couple are said to be (speaking Mandarin), yet later say “We’ve got you.” No, they don’t: They say something in Chinese. And I’m not sure it was Mandarin; did the captioneers get that from the script?
(blade rings) twice. Where the hell was that in Kill Bill, where the blades verily sang?
Our narrator, surprisingly, is... Miles Neff!
“A female receptionist watches a door open”: Because they aren’t all girls. I should know.
“His shoulders rise as he manages a breath”: Excellent evocation of not knowing how to react.
A character puts a “trash bag” in a “garbage can”: Gotta watch for those echoes. But later, we hear of Spider-man’s costume “hanging over the side of a metal trash can.”
“Peter sits with books by ‘Yeets’ and Longfellow.” That’s not how it’s pronounced!
“The ‘rapiading’ orb expands”: “Radiating,” shurely?!
I overwrote my notes here, but this part is correct: “Peter... fights back the tears.” “The” tears?
Please, don’t be so periphrastic: “Her friend hangs his head” is just Peter!
Spider-man snatches back his costume from J. Jonah Jameson (take it off!) and leaves a note, we are told. But we’re not told what it says: The priceless COURTESY OF YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN. Should have talked over dialogue.
Peter “leans back parallel to the roof”: You mean he limboes?
“Now, lightning flash outside the warehouse”: You mean it “flashes.”
“Peter’s suit rips open along one bulging bicep”: Wow, biceps never do anything but bulge. T. Maguire’s aren’t so big, really. (More than a handful is a waste.) But thanks for trying. Really!
None.
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