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Seen: 2003.12.03 ¶ Reviewed: 2003.12.28
Less aptly described as The Crap in the Hat than I had anticipated. Who would imagine Alec Baldwin’s looking so gross? Someday Dakota Fanning will quit playing the same role over and over again. I smell a showbiz mom in the wings.
A mere four other people present, including a chick in a power chair I chatted up about shitty seating arrangements.
Focus! Focus! Focus! Mr. X is getting annoyed with the defocused projection at these movies.
The opening verse is set with initial capitals on each caption and no end punctuation. I don’t know what I think about that.
CONRAD/SALLY: No, just say BOTH: since they’re both in the scene. What are you, some Canadian 22-year-old woman with a poli-sci degree?
FISH: Sally, you'll do better than "fun".
Wee punctuation error there.
Ultra-disgusting break:
Stop! ¶
That's ¶
BOTH:
Mom's dress!
Thing 1 and Thing 2, apart from being dullsville, ill-conceived little christers, are so named, even listed as such onscreen. WGBH thuddingly misidentifies them Thing One and Thing Two.
The acronym SLOW is misrendered as S.L.O.W. twice.
Kim Mai Guest is narratrix.
As ever, elaborate animated opening titles (no matter how much I enjoy them and no matter how much insider knowledge I like to think have about them) should not be overdescribed. “And a chunky word revolves around the planet.... We float past chunky red letters: Dreamworks SKG.... The cartoon turns real.”
“A female worker uses a phone”: Workers are male unless specified? “On the blonde woman’s desk”: I thought all “blondes” were wymmynz in the DVS universe?
“A girl checks a PDA” (not the first time we’ve encountered that acronym). (Excellent script in the movie here – Dakota Fanning makes a to-do list to be spontaneous and create lasting childhood memories.)
“A lime-green door” is actually pale green.
“He stifles an upchuck and coughs up a big ball of hair.”
A subtitle reads “ ‘Let’s go Chocolate Thunda!’&nnbsp;” (internal quotation mark and errors sic). The description reads it out and also says “I don’t understand a Thing you’re saying.”
End credits begin with “Remaining opening titles.” No description of ending Universal Studios theme-park “See the ride” bumper.
It would be nice if they got Thing 1 and Thing 2’s names right.
None.