Joe Clark

Catholic projects

“Bring me the head of ‘Kissy’ Fernández”:
Catholics choosing Not to Win

“Kissy” Fernández runs the Dicastery for the Destruction of the Faith at the Vatican. Actually, that’s just how he’s described on Twitter and at one agitprop Weblog. This cardinal has a history of writing one pornographic treatise after another. What are tediously described as “Internet sleuths” dug up another one this week (early January 2024), La pasión mística : espiritualidad y sensualidad.

But, like a thousand-dollar bill getting rained on out on the sidewalk, this smoking gun had been hiding in plain sight all the while. Nobody on the Internet had bothered to do even the most cursory “sleuthing” to find any of these bombshells.

Catholics who profess to be exasperated by the current papacy have done next to nothing to rid us of the irritant known as Víctor Manuel Fernández. Instead of learning from leftists – lethally effective at extirpating their political enemies for flimsy reasons (yet here any reasons are solid) – Catholic gadflies commit to a consistent policy of Not Winning. They’re like Jeopardy contestants who refuse to go all-in on the Daily Double.

So let me address dissident Catholics who think what they’re doing is working. Spoiler: It isn’t, and not only are you doing basically everything wrong, the complete list of what you should be doing is unknown to you. Dissident Catholics know nothing about oppo research and are visibly not in this to win.

“Poasting” on Twitter does nothing but make you feel special

You aren’t Keith Woods, you haven’t coined a winner of a hashtag (#BantheADL), and Elon Musk hasn’t retweeted you. As such, you are pissing in the wind posting on Twitter.

Your attitude is “One tweet gets the job done!” In edge cases like Woods’, sure, yes. As Papist dissidents, absolutely not. Your means of using Twitter amounts to nothing more than positioning statements.

You’re also quite shit at it, as we shall see.

This book was always identifiable

If any of you had life history beyond berating Novus Ordites about how their guitar masses are abominations unto the eyes of God, then maybe you might have gotten to know some graduates with masters’ degrees in library science over the years. Or you might personally know what a MARC record is.

Assuming you also were familiar with “Kissy” Fernández’s true name, Víctor Manuel Fernández (note the diacritics), you could have looked up his entire œuvre on WorldCat, a master catalogue you never knew about until this sentence.

Read everything he wrote – and hold it against him

You probably still haven’t realized you have the full Fernández bibliography available to you. I already linked you to it. It follows that you don’t realize you need to get your hands on every single item there, read the totality of it, and use every jot and tittle against “Kissy” Fernández and this papacy.

Nearly all of it is in Spanish, you say? Do you really not know any native Spanish-speakers? Can’t you hire some grad students or seminarians? Can’t you pay for a professional translation? Having been presented with the nonexistent obstacle that the full list of Fernández’s works has always been available to you, are you also going to pretend that Mexican Spanish is some kind of obstacle?

Aren’t you the same guys who insist the only viable Roman rites are those that use Latin? Yet you’re deterred by a few books in Spanish.

Call the publisher – and its contractors

The book’s publisher is listed as Ediciones Dabar. And they still exist. You couldn’t call them up?

The front matter lists Ricardo Aguilar as designer and Irma García Cruz as typographer. You couldn’t look them up?

Mirror the PDF everywhere

Internet Archive has a lousy scan of the original book. Despite the fact that I was on the PDF accessibility committee and have good skills, my version is barely better (mild reordering of covers, added bookmarks). The original scan is too badly executed.

Mirror these files, technically substandard though they be, everywhere. Force Dabar to file DMCA claims against you, which you can then counterclaim.

Pester the press office

Don’t just sit there dashing off Gmails and “tweeting.” (Really makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something!) Incur actual overseas phone charges and call the Vatican press office (+39-6-698-45600). Ask questions – surely you can think of some – and demand answers.

Next do the same with nunciatures. A nuncio is an ambassador from the Vatican. The Papal nuncio to the U.S. is Cardinal Pierre; to Canada, it’s Rev. Jurkovič. Call them up (again: no hiding behind keyboards) and ask for a comment for attribution.

Then follow up by printing out the entire book and snailmailing it to the Papal nuncio, asking for comment on the record.

Obviously you’ll want to do the same with the ambassadors to the Holy See (American: Joe Donnelly; Canadian: Paul Gibbard).

Write your bishop

Write a hardcopy letter to your local bishop asking for a definitive statement on “Kissy” Fernández’s work, and the bishop’s position regarding Fernández’s authority. Publish the response. (Did it occur to you that you can use any such response as a weapon against restrictions on the Latin mass, which you prize above everything, including actually winning?)

Other tasks

With no Media Matters to coördinate attacks, no wonder the Vatican keeps getting away with murder

Actually, I don’t think the Holy See “murdered” anyone per se – not even Cardinal Pell. But there are reasons why leftists are so effective at taking out their enemies, even if those enemies are mere civilians.

First of all, they do have central control, of which Media Matters is an exemplar. (The phrase “talking points” refers to a real thing.) But on top of that, progressivism is an emergent property in which all the clued-in people instinctively know what the day’s Newspeak might be and gleefully enforce it at every level.

Dissident Catholics have none of that. You can’t even get dreamy Taylor Marshall (gender pronouns: Doctor/Dr.) to quit chasing ambulances all day and organize his band of wayward young men to actually do something that might matter, like getting Cardinal Fernández shitcanned.

Who’s the next target?

The third-most-evil mortal being in the Vatican, of course: The aptly named Cardinal Roche.

Posted: 2024.01.09