Joe Does the Movies: Accessible movie reviews in Toronto

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Captioned (and usually described) movies reviewed here

Title Narrator(trix) CC DX Breakdowns
Fault Other Fault Other
68.Spider-man 2 Miles Neff 3 0 41[None]
67.Kill Bill Vol. II [Not applicable] 6 0 [Not applicable][None]
66.50 First Dates Lynn Maclean 3 0 13Dim and voided pixels
65.Barbershop 2 Leilani Jones-Wilmore 12 2 04[None]
64.Along Came Polly Miles Neff 3 0 42Dead pixels, staticky audio, loose volume control
63.Mona Lisa Smile Lynn Maclean 15 1 34Staticky audio
62.Stuck on You Gaille Heidemann 10 0 22Staticky audio
61.Something’s Gotta Give Gaille Heidemann 10 0 11CC and DX broken for first 15 minutes
60.The Last Samurai [Broken] 5 1 [Broken]No DX
59.The Missing [Broken] 2 0 [Broken]No DX
58.The Cat in the Hat Kim Mai Guest 5 4 01[None]
57.Master & Commander Miles Neff 5 0 10Originally in unequipped theatre
56.Gothika [Not described] 6 0 [Not applicable]Lags in and flashing of captions
55.Looney Tunes: Back in Action Miles Neff 5 0 21[None]
54.Matrix Revolutions [Broken] 4 0[Broken]No DX; emitter blocked captions; display losing pixels
53.Love, Actually Gaille Heidemann 2 1 81[None]
52.Radio Miles Neff 3 1 21[None]
51.Intolerable Cruelty Miles Neff 3 0 46Theatre lied to us about showtimes – twice
50.Out of Time Miles Neff 5 1 4 3Emitter blocked captions; bottom row of pixels blocked
49.Matchstick Men [Not described] 3 1 [Not applicable][None]
48.SWAT [Not described] 13 3 [Not applicable][None]
47.Uptown Girls Kim Mai Guest 3 0 12[None]
46.Seabiscuit Miles Neff 15 2 52Told no DX present; of course it was
45.T3 Miles Neff 9 0 21[None]
44.Legally Blonde 2 Pat Lentz 13 2 11Dead pixels
43.Charlie’s Ankles Miles Neff 10 2 32[None]
42.The Hulk Miles Neff 7 3 30[None]
41.2 Fast [&] 2 FuriousMiles Neff 1 2 44[None]
40.Finding Nemo Gaille Heidemann 3 0 10[None]
39.Bruce Almighty Gaille Heidemann 1 1 11Dead at first
38.Down with Love Lynn Maclean 7 2 21[None]
37.The Matrix Reloaded Miles Neff 5 0 30[None]
36.Daddy Day Care [Broken] 7 4 [Broken]Emitter blocked captions; no DX
35.X-Men 2Miles Neff 2 10 2Sound spillover
34.Anger ManagementMiles Neff 5 232Originally not in equipped house; sound spillover
33.Agent Cody BanksPat Lentz 3 191[None]
32.Tears of the SunMiles Neff 3 210Emitter blocked captions; staticky audio
Now with superspecial DVD review!
Miles Neff 3 021[None]
30.Adaptation[Not described] 2 1[Not applicable][None]
29.Catch Me If You CanMiles Neff 6 010Deleted and frozen characters; emitter blocked captions
28.Two Weeks’ NoticePat Lentz 5 200[None]
27.Maid in ManhattanGaille Heidemann 0 101[None]
26.Analyze ThatPat Lentz 2 210DX died, then CC
25.Treasure Planet Gaille Heidemann 1 0 2 1CC died; emitter blocked captions
24.Solaris Miles Neff 0 0 6 3[None]
23.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Miles Neff6 1 1 0Bottom pixels blocked
22.I Spy André Ware (fire him)2 2 1 1[None]
21.The Ring [Not described]7 2 [Not applicable][None]
20.Red Dragon Pat Lentz9 0 3 3Originally not in equipped house
19.City by the Sea Michael Goff 4 1 2 1[None]
18.Signs Pat Lentz0 0 3 2[None]
17.Austin Powers (Canadian sponsorship special!) Miles Neff 6 1 4 2[None]
16.Stuart Little 2 Gaille Heidemann 7 2 2 3[None]
15.Road to Perdition Pat Lentz 1 0 1 1[None]
14.Men in Black II Miles Neff 3 0 0 1[None]
13.Minority Report
Worst. MoPix. Ever or Second Time Lucky?
Miles Neff 6 2 3 2Erectile dysfunction of reflector; sound spillover
12.Scooby-Doo Miles Neff 2 4 1 2[None]
11.Insomnia Miles Neff 1 2 2 3[None]
10.Star Wars: Episode II (press coverage) Miles Neff 3 0 2 3[None]
9.Spider-man (now with special guest commentary!) Miles Neff 3 2 1 2[None]
8.Murder by Numbers (with update) Miles Neff 7 1 6 2[None]
7.Panic Room Miles Neff 2 2 4 1[None]
6.E.T. Miles Neff 3 0 1 0DX broke
5.Time Machine Miles Neff 3 1 0 0No CC first five minutes
4.Return to Neverland Miles Neff [Entire system broken]No DX; CC were from Black Hawk Down
3.Black Hawk Down Miles Neff 0 1 1 0[None]
2.A Beautiful Mind Miles Neff [Not tested] 2 0[None]
1.Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s StoneMiles Neff 1 0 3 0[None]

Other coverage

  1. Children of Men
  2. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Open-captioned movies

Only one so far, Liar, Liar.

Open-described movies

I initially wrote:

Theoretically, open-described movies are possible (everybody in the theatre hears the descriptions), but I know of only two such screenings in the history of civilization. If it happens again, I’ll cover it.

Those two screenings were of My Left Foot and Stardom. Now, though, for some unknown reason The Passion of the Christ was described but not captioned. (Subtitles are sufficient for deaf people, right? Right?) But I refuse to watch what Roger Ebert called the most violent movie he’s ever seen.

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Accessible cinemaReviews

Updated: 2010.09.02